lucid dreaming

last night, I had a series of ridiculous dreams, all of which pertained to my life in some way or another. in one part, I had 2 days to complete a language exam and still forgot to do the reading comprehension section, and then tried to turn it into my professor's office (but the door was closed). in another, I was heading home for a weekend to see my boyfriend, but my mom (who was, for some reason, with me out east) offered to drive me to the airport and she was running late so we missed our flight. I also bought 30 dollars worth of nail painting things at the CVS and my mom (still out east) went back to swap a few of them, except to get back to my dorm we had to walk through a medieval town. also, my parents installed a toilet/shower/bath contraption where our normal ground-floor bathroom used to be. it gave me a lavender-salt shower-bath-thing when I tried to go to the bathroom. interesting.

I know there were a few more real-life situations that were skewed into dream-world, but there was one particular dream where I was consciously aware of what was going on. at first, there were a bunch of geese that some townspeople were trying to kill. and the geese didn't like that, so they decided to fly away. and as they took off into the sky, I flew with them. and then I was aware I was dreaming, but floating, and it was alright because I wasn't holding on too hard to the fact that I was asleep. I told myself I could see whatever I wanted to, and as I floated higher and higher, letting the wind underneath my arms, I came upon an old bridge far below me and a gorgeous waterway that opened into the wide ocean with blue skies all around. I was thrilled.

I had interrupted sleep last night. I'm not sure why. I phased up on my medication last night, which could be a reason. or maybe I'm just really stressed out. I have a lot to do this weekend and I wasn't very good with getting things done yesterday. I couldn't focus.... that's one of the worst elements of this depressive spell. no focus whatsoever on the things that actually matter in my life, and all focus on thoughts that will make me mourn my death decades before it happens. just gotta make it through to therapy on Monday....